Think of the time you had a massive crush on someone. Maybe a person who took the same class as you, someone you met at a party, or maybe one of your exes. Think of all the dazed days and sleepless nights that you spent just to gulp down your feelings and get over them.
Sometimes you can’t stop thinking about someone because you are so in love with them or you are suffering from a recent breakup.
When you’re unable to prevent brooding about someone, life can get really difficult. It practically gets impossible to go through a single day without their image playing on your head, their words, and everything that makes them irresistible to you!
However, life has to go on! Moving on takes time but you need some guidance through it. Don’t worry, in this blog we are going to talk about everything that you can do when you can’t stop thinking about someone!
When Does a Crush Become an Unhealthy Obsession?
There is a fine line of difference between a healthy crush or infatuation and an unhealthy level of obsession. If you’re dating someone or have been in a long relationship, it’s normal to have constant thoughts and romantic memories of your partner.
However, when a relationship has ended or your feelings are unrequited, constantly having the thoughts of one person might point towards obsession.
Obsession occurs once you make someone the center of your existence where you’re completely under the control of your feelings. Having a fanatical crush on someone can really take an enormous toll on your psychological state, affecting other segments of your lifestyle.
Let’s Talk About Obsession
Obsession is something that occurs when you need something and the need hasn’t been fulfilled. When you are hooked on someone, you think that or feel that they will be able to replace something that’s missing in your life.
It causes you to feel that their presence will somehow improve the circumstances of your life. However, that’s rarely the case. This turns into more detrimental behavior if not kept in check and requires urgent medical attention. It is normal to think about your romantic partner when you are seriously involved or dating.
Reliving the past memories with your ex-partners long after they have left is also perfectly normal. However, things take a wrong turn when this turns into an obsession and your affection turns into an obsession. This further turns into a problem when this obsession is stopping you from living your day-to-day life.
This behavior if kept unchecked leads to detrimental behavior like stalking, domestic violence, and other mental health-related concerns.
How Do You Solve Obsession?
To solve obsessive thoughts firstly we need to get to the bottom of the reason behind your obsession. The key is stopping yourself from thinking about someone. Think about all the areas of your life that feel chaotic.
Is your obsession over the object or the person directing you towards a larger issue? Will healing your issues help you in feeling differently towards the person or object you are obsessed with?
If you are repeatedly bugged by the question “why can’t I stop thinking about them” then it’s a clear indication that you require the assistance of mental health professional to help you through this phase!
What is Relationship-Compulsive Disorder?
The possible reason for you to be feeling so obsessed might be because you could possibly be suffering from Obsessive-Compulsive Relationship Disorder. People who experience this disorder struggle with a feeling of worthlessness for themselves and their partner and extensively question the validity of their connection and their relationship.
Symptoms of Relationship Compulsive Disorder include constantly questioning their partner and being unsure even after their partner has confirmed that their suspicions are untrue.
Relationship compulsive disorder experiencers are concerned about two things in a relationship that is the fear of being caged in an undesirable or unsatisfactory relationship. Moreover, they are also afraid of experiencing loneliness.
This causes them to be in a tailspin and makes it extremely hard for the person to deal with obsessive and repetitive thoughts on their own.
People who experience Relationship-Compulsive Disorder are normally treated with talk therapy and medication based on the severity of their diagnosis and through the recommendation of a licensed board-certified mental health professional.
The most common treatments for Relationship Compulsive Disorder include cognitive-behavioral therapy(CBT), exposure therapy with responsive prevention (ERP), and mindfulness-based cognitive therapy(MBCT).
Therefore for help regarding medications and treatments please visit a licensed medical professional.
What is Cognitive-Behavior Therapy?
Cognitive behavior therapy does two things firstly it recognizes negative behaviors that act as a contributing factor to the patient’s obsessive behavior and secondly it provides strategies for developing new coping mechanisms, skills, and life skills to replace behaviors that negatively affect the patient.
What is Exposure Therapy?
Exposure therapy systematically introduces clients to the specific trigger, circumstance, person, or situation that causes the obsession and with the guidance of a therapist gradually reduces the amount of anxiety or obsession the patient feels about the circumstance or the person.
How Does Counseling Help?
Mental health counselors can act as an unbiased third party that assists you to identify potentially damaging behaviors and thought patterns that cause you to obsess over someone. Expression of obsession can be caused due to unhealed pain within. In most cases, this pain or loss felt during a breakup or a rejection can turn inward and cause a lack of self-worth, confusion, and obsession. Please know that counseling can help you move past all of this. Moreover, patients who attend regular counseling sessions learn new life coping skills and strategies they can also recognize negative behavioral patterns and break negative
Life has to go on. No matter how hard it seems, we have to get up and move on. Getting over an obsession can be difficult. On some days, you might have a hard time coping.
Eventually, with the right kind of influence in your life and with the support of a professional, things will start to ease up. If you’ve read this blog until here, we wish you happiness in the days to come!